Eggs Cumberbatch

[gominokouhai]

Yes, I know the egg challenge was last week, but it only just occurred to me that Eggs Benedict exists and that, as a result, this needed to be created. Version #1 involved poaching eggs in the plastic microwaveable dish borrowed from the commercial kitchen upstairs. It was an unmitigated disaster and, while photographs exist, none of them capture the full horror of what was created, so I shan't post them here. Version #2 involved use of the clinging film method, which rocks. I can't believe I've never done this before.

Thus, with recipe steps in approximately the right order:

Eggs Cumberbatch

1. Take Cumberland sausagemeat and form into patties. The woman in the butchers just slit open a couple of Cumberland sausages and handed me the stuff out of the insides, so that's what you can do, too, if you don't happen to have sausagemeat to hand. Two (gigantic) sossinges made four generously-sized patties.
2. Fry patties over a reasonably high heat. They should take eight to ten minutes, so when they're half done, turn them over and put the eggs on to poach.
   • Seriously, use the clinging film method. It's amazing.
     

     So awesome.

3. Put muffins on to toast.
4. Steam some spinach. Not too much!
   • Since I am a posh New Town bastard, I own a steamer now. It was left in the flat by the previous occupant. It's all right, but no better than holding a sieve over a pan of boiling water. It does however save on using another hob.
5. Arrange items as follows: one half of toasted muffin, atop which a pile of spinach, atop which a sossinge patty, atop which a negg.
6. Since I am not yet totally degenerate, debauched, depraved, and other words beginning with ‘de-’, not to mention perverse, effete, and wanton, which don't, I get my Hollandaise out of a jar. Frankly, it's about the worst Hollandaise I've ever et, but it beats the hell out of melting butter at exactly 45°–60° in the vain hope that some proteins might emulsify—especially while simultaneously trying to toast bread and wilt spinach. Jarred Hollandaise works much better if you warm it up first, though. Ladle it on.
7. Serve the other muffin half on the side.

Assembly

 

Results

Keep a nice plate of it in your kitchen, to entice Benedict.

The Cumberland sausage is for phonetic consonance and the spinach is because there's something Sherlocky about it. It might just be the colour of his coat, but for some reason it reminds me of his hair, too. On reflection, the Hollandaise is in this recipe purely for hysterical raisins of a Benedictine nature: I think it might work better with some sort of smoky tomato sauce, instead.

One serving constitutes an extremely substantial brunch. Two servings are probably more than you want to eat for dinner.

Comments

[miss_s_b]

This whole entry is made of awesome.

[evilawyer]

Clever!

[missdiane]

I've never tried the plastic wrap method but I might have to experiment. I usually just put a little apple cider vinegar in the water (never salt!) and it stays together pretty well.

I've not had hollandaise in forever but I use the blender method when I do - this recipe with a dash of nutmeg
http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2011/05/blender-hollandaise

[digitalraven]

So many adjectives, when the one that applies best to how I do it is "right".

Can't wait to try this.

[miss_s_b]

That sounds like a really useful way to do Hollandaise IF you have a glass jug on your blender. A plastic one will cool too quickly, won't it?

[gominokouhai]

"...wing".

Fixed that for you. :p

[von_geisterhand]

Fantastic! Snacks for the Season 3 marathon. :-D

Oooh, I'm getting all hungry now.

[missdiane]

Nah, a plastic jug is ok since that's what my parents had. I'd put boiling water in it and set it aside until I had all the other ingredients prepped. Then dump out the water (pfft on that OMG has to be totally dry bit), toss in the other ingredients, WHIRRRRR as you drizzle in the hot butter and you're done.

[miss_s_b]

It WAS the time-it-takes-to-dry thing that was making me think it would take too long

[gominokouhai]

Ooh, I am so totally trying that. Thanks.