Challenge #5: Eggs: "Healthy" Scrambled Eggs

[miss_s_b]

This is how my brain works: eggs are great for protein, but they are also bad for hearty/circulationy things because of their high nasty fat content. How can I make them better? I know! GARLIC!

Garlic Scrambled Eggs

Meal: Breakfast
Serves: One
Fatteningness: lots

Ingredients

• Two eggs
• Butter
• One clove of garlic*
• Black pepper
• Something to serve the eggs on - toast is traditional, but I used potato waffles

Method

• Finely (very finely) chop or crush the garlic
• Slowly heat the butter in a saucepan; when it's stopped frothing add the garlic and take it off the heat so it cooks out really slowly
• Put your bread/waffles in the toaster.
• Break your eggs directly into the pan, put the pan back on the heat, and stir constantly with a wooden spoon
• Grind the pepper into the cooking eggs
• Keep stirring
• Remove the pan from the heat about 30 seconds before the eggs are cooked; you don't want them overdone and they keep cooking in the pan.
• Plate up your toast/waffles and put the eggs on top
• Eat
• Enjoy breathing all over your collegues all day
• Enjoy farting eggy AND garlicky farts all night

---

* anybody who thinks I would ACTUALLY use a mere one clove of garlic in this has never met me. I generally use at least 3. At least.

Comments

[karohemd]

For a less healthy (and less vegetarian) alternative, slice some cooking chorizo, fry them in the pan on gentle heat until crispy and the lovely red fat has rendered, and then scramble the eggs in that fat using the above method. :o)

[miss_s_b]

For me, all chorizo is cooking chorizo; I really don't like the texture of it when not-cooked, and tbh I'm not that keen on it cooked. I tend to like German sausage* better thank Spanish (you can tell all your friends I said that if you like ;)). However, James loves it and has some in the fridge. I might try your idea on him.

* at least the sort of German sausage you can get in the uk. I am aware that this is by no means the full range. I am also aware that this doesn't make the innuendo any better...

[karohemd]

The difference is that cooking chorizo isn't cured so you have to cook it, while you can eat cured chorizo uncooked like salami etc. but when you cook the uncured variety, you don't get as much fat out of it and it's tougher.
ginasketch is a huge fan of chorizo scrambled eggs, too.

*grins*
The German sausage range is almost impossible to count, while there are certain broad categories - cured, cooked, smoked, poached, hardness (this isn't getting any better, is it?), type and cut of meat - recipes and also types vary hugely from region to region and every butcher has his own recipes, too (part of the Master butcher exam is a new sausage recipe).

[missdiane]

Pfft, the fat/cholesterol in eggs is the good kind of cholesterol. ;)

Like bacon, everything's better with garlic!

[miss_s_b]

Yeah, I kind of knew that the German thing for Sausages is like the Yorkshire thing for pies (someone round here was making a pork pie pie last year...)

I like things like peppered salami, stuff like that. Things that come in Tesco's German Sausage selection. Whereas James got the Spanish meats selection the other day and it has two types of chorizo and a mild garlic sausage that seems EXACTLY like the mild garlic sausage in the German pack to me...

I'm not sure what it is about the texture of chorizo I don't like, but there's something that makes me feel faintly nauseous; it's odd because I normally love things with paprika and garlic in.

[miss_s_b]

LOL I cooked them in butter and ate them on potato waffles; I think the only person I'm fooling is myself ;)

[missdiane]

Welllllll...you got me there. And I notice now that you don't specify the amount of butter. lol

I don't think I've ever seen potato waffles over on this side of the pond, though. Plenty of potato pancakes in the Kosher section but not waffles.

[karohemd]

A pie in a pie? Like a turducken? ;o)

[miss_s_b]

The only reason I specified potato is that I knew USians would be reading; they're a staple of childhood for most people over here. The word "waffles" MEANS potato waffles; the other sort are normally referred to as Belgian waffles and are thought of as foreign and weird.

* went into the kitchen to make something healthy with strawberries in and came back with a big bowl of strawberries and cream *

Ooops

[gominokouhai]

Make a giant pie crust.
Fill with mini Melton Mowbrays. Pack around them with extra sausagemeat.

Yeah, I'll give it a go.

[gominokouhai]

You and garlic really are sitting in a tree, aren't you?

I am totally trying this as soon as I get chance, with the possible exception of your last step.

[karohemd]

Hah! Won't the individual pies get soggy?

[gominokouhai]

You might have a point. I've got a better idea: pork pie cake.

[miss_s_b]

Oh garlic is one of the things I would have in my last meal, were I ever to be on death row. If only to make the executioner suffer.

[gominokouhai]

That might work. "Any last words?" *HAAAAAAAHHH* And then you can just walk off scot-free, neatly stepping over the executioner and assembled dignitaries on your way out.

Alternatively you could request a last cigarette and go out like Agnes Nutter.

[miss_s_b]

If I tried to do that it'd go horribly wrong, and I'd be sat there plaintively asking Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a planet-shattering kaboom...